Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I'm Back

Man it feels like it has been forever since I posted! I see my mother posted and did a very nice job...Thanks mom love you! It has been an amazing few days. Saturday easily was the best day of my life. I never knew so much happiness could be jammed into one day! I did get tired and weak but for the most part, for a whole day I got to forget that I had brain cancer and focus on nothing but being happy! There was no brain planning on Saturday and no healthy eating! I let myself take a break for the wedding (and maybe some of the honeymoon!). I had to have one last steak and one last scoop of ice cream! I had a lot of lasts this weekend but luckily I had a lot of firsts as well. First weekend alone without the parents and first breakfast with my best friend! The firsts were a lot better! Can you believe the weather on Saturday? It was 108 last week and then for some reason it decided to drop for my wedding. Just another tender mercy to add to the list that grows every minute. Thank you so much for everyone who came on Saturday and stood in that long line. I kept getting updates on how far back it was and all I could think of was all those people standing in line forever just to come see us. I wish I could have stayed and talked to everyone for more time but we were under strict orders to keep the line moving and I don't think I would have made it if it was much longer. I was so glad I had a chair to rest on and sometimes we had to stop the line so I could shove food in my face! I felt so bad eating in front of people but they pretty much forced me to. Sometimes I wonder who controls my or my mom! :) She just loves me a lot! The reception was beautiful and I cannot believe how many cupcakes there were. I had to eat one. I have been looking at them all week and watching other people eat them so when I had the chance I grabbed a cupcake and I think I literally ate the whole thing in a minute and a half! Then I got to dance with my dad and my husband and cried tears of happiness the whole time! I really don't think I have ever been as happy as I was dancing with them. In those minutes I felt strong. I felt like I did 8 months ago before the headaches even started! I will never forget the smile on my dad's face. He was so happy. I will always love my dad. He is my hero and I am his full time job! So maybe I tripped leaving the reception. :) I just had felt so strong during the dances so I completely threw out Dr.'s orders and tried to run. My knees said "NO!" and they said it loud and I ended on the floor. (poor wedding dress...) Josh picked me up and took me away just like a real prince should and now we are living our happy ever after! My fairy tale came true!

Honeymoon was great. I was probably a lame wife because I didn't sleep an hour on Saturday night so of course I kept Josh up the whole night and then I rested all of Sunday and wasn't any fun. He of course told me I was amazing and stayed with me the whole time. Sunday I found a sleeping pill and got a few hours so on Monday we were able to do a little shopping. We decided that T-shirts and jeans didn't quite fit the dress code for work so Josh spoiled me and got me all ready for my new job! Monday night I fell asleep ALL BY MYSELF and I actually slept for more than an hour! So Tuesday I was all bright-eyed and bushy tailed and we packed up and were home by 9:30 so we could make it to the Dr. in time.

On Tuesday I had the best MRI of my life...thus far. I have a lot more coming. It was short and I did not even feel the shot for the colored fluids they put in you. Then I went to my next easy-cheesy Dr.'s appointment where they tested my heart. They tell me I have a good heart!

Update with the treatment. I have what they call a "dry run" on Monday with the radiation. I don't actually start but they have made my mask and they are going to go over my schedule for medications and everything. I hopefully can start chemo and radiation on Tuesday. Josh and I had quite a scare when we went to go pick up my medication yesterday. We went to Walgreens and they wanted $7500 for one month of chemo and that was after insurance! I just smiled at the lady, took my credit card back, and said "I think I will call my mom." So I called her and the battle with insurance began. Thankfully my dad is good at fighting these insurance battles and we found a way around it. We moved my prescription to CVS where insurance should cover it all (hopefully) and we will be great! That is a huge load off my chest. It would kill me to know that we had to pay that much for 14 months. Today I am very very grateful for insurance. We still don't know if I am a candidate for the clinical trial. It would be a good thing for me to be a part of, so remember that in your prayers. So the next part in my journey begins Tuesday if all goes well!

I know there are people that are reading this that I don't know. Thank you. I know there are people who are praying for me who are not of my faith. Keep praying. I wish I could meet all of you and tell you thank you myself. I feel kinda bad because my writings are not very eloquent and I often have typos. I just can't write and re write and often what I write is just what's on my mind at that current time. What's on my mind right now is how happy I am to be married to my best friend and how lucky I am to be alive in this beautiful world at this beautiful time with amazingly beautiful strong people all around me.

Today I feel strong. I can and will beat this thing. We will all beat this together. I really feel like we are all a team. We can do this! I love ya all.

Keep the prayers we still need a miracle!

Tara Lynn Bodrero :)


Heidi said...

All sounds good!! My mom told me about the $7500 copay. Yikes!!! Who on earth can afford that kind of a copay? Good thing you were able to switch the prescription.

Here's to hoping you get some good sleep tonight~

michelle said...

Mrs. Bodrero, Sound like you and Josh had as perfect of a day and night as could have possibly been. That's so great to hear. Your posts are wonderful. I wish that everyone who has cancer could read your blog. You amaze me. But always know that you can call me anytime when you aren't feeling so upbeat. I'm sure that Josh will be such a great husband to you, and will always be there to 'pick you up when you fall'. That's what good husbands do. Stop in if you feel like it, or give me a call and I will bring you lunch on a Friday when I am off. I miss ya.
Love ya, Sparky, ( mean Mrs. Bodrero) ; )