Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Here we go again, time to assemble.

We’re back. My precious brain went to tumor board again today and… here we go again. We have been watching this area since April 25th. We were in a “wait and see” phase… now, we are in the “action” phase. Round 2 here we go…. 


I know part of my coping is being vulnerable… it is feeling all the feels and getting it all out. I’m dehydrated, tired, easily triggered and scared but I am going to do this. I am not going to give up. We are going to act fast, hard and with aggression. I have an amazing medical team and it is time to assemble my army again. You were here for me the first time, I gave you a decade break but it the time is now. I need you again. I need your prayers and support. We need it. My babies need me. My Josh needs me. WE need it. It is time to fight again. 


Next steps. 


Biopsy the first week of January. Kris Smith did 6 of my 7 previous surgeries and we are planning on him but we are still in contact with Dr. Berger who did my initial resection. After biopsy we will get the path report which will then tell us the next steps. I am anxious about the next steps but we will do it.  


I know I need an outlet. This blog helped me last time so we are giving it a try this time. This time is different though. This time is more… it hurts more, it affects more, it is just more everything. I’ve got 4 littles now. 4 perfect littles that need a momma, I am a good mom… I care so much for them. I need to be here for them. I just don’t want to die… give me chemo everyday all day but don’t take me from my littles. 

35 comments:

Jayne Marostica said...

We will join the praying & fasting brigade. You’re right, you really are an amazing mother. You’ve got this. Love you Tara.

Anonymous said...

Sure love you Tara!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers! You are the bravest and strongest person I know!!

SusanDyar said...

I love you Tara.

Anonymous said...

We are apart of your army!!!

Cami Cluff said...

Love you Tara! You have always felt like family to me and I will be praying for you and your family. You got this strong Mama!

Anonymous said...

Dear Tara, there are no words. I love you and your amazing journey. Many daily heartfelt prayers. Fran K

Anonymous said...

Always and forever on your team and part of the fasting, praying, hoping, faith-exercising brigade of people who love you! πŸ™πŸ»❤️

Anonymous said...

πŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘†πŸ»Dana Rodgers

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing woman. We are here for you and there is no doubt in my mind you will prevail!!

Anonymous said...

You are needed and loved and prayed for. So many people are rooting for you and your medical team, and your family. I know your Momma. She is special, amazing, wonderful and loving to us all. Please know, anything your family needs from this earth we are here for you, and we pray for blessings from above. Love πŸ’• you

Marlee Shumway said...

Oh Tara, know the Shumway’s are in your corner no matter where you fight. Fight we know you will. Prayers coming and whatever else you may need.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you!!!!!!

Lynsey Cluff said...

“We are warriors, yeah that’s what we’ve become!”
I HATE cancer, I hate your tumor for coming back. But you’re a warrior of the highest rank Tara, and our prayers for you,for Josh, for the kids and for your med staff will be unceasing! 🀟🏼

Shelley Totah said...

Tara…you will beat this again. You will. You are strong and you are amazing. You’ve got this…and your army is ready. I understand all the “feels” the second time around, it’s different for sure, be kind to yourself, be patient. The Totah’s are all praying and sending hugs. πŸ’•

Anna Petersen said...

We love you so much, Tara! We’re ready and here to fight for you. You have the best army of people who love you and pray for you hundreds of times a day. Your vulnerability is beyond inspiring. Thank you for sharing something so personal and scary with us. You’re incredible. #teamtara #tarastrong

Anonymous said...

Love you beautiful!!! We are keeping you and your sweetest family in our prayers!

Anonymous said...

I have never met you, I have followed your story the entire time and you are truly an inspiration. Prayers will be with all as you navigate this.

Anonymous said...

I love you more than you’ll ever know, T. I’m so glad you’re sharing this so we can be with you every step of the way. The last line of your post really broke my heart… I know you’d do anything for your kids. I just wish you didn’t have to.

Anonymous said...

You are in our thoughts and prayers! I admire you and your courage. You are a strong woman, great mom, and wife.

Jeannie said...

I love you so much Tara and I am here for anything you need: babysitting, a shoulder to cry on, or whatever! Thanks for letting us all know so we can help support you as you fight this thing. Team Tara forever!! ❤️

Robin Juvan said...

Prayers coming your way! Your army is here for you!!!

Suzanne said...

Hi Tara! Was supposed to be dead in 2008 from cancer & prayer, a priesthood blessing, & changing my eating habits kept me alive. Here are a few things to retard it: Coral calcium, 3000 mg of vitamin C, three bitter almonds, and one moringa capsule daily. Eat lots of blueberries, asparagus, cruciferous vegetables, arugula and cilantro. No fast food, processed meats or sugar.

Anonymous said...

Tara—I don’t know anyone who has greater faith than you!! I am joining my faith with yours and everyone else’s as well—I believe in miracles and yes your babies need you! You are an incredibly strong lady who can fight this fight and with all of your army behind you I know you can win! I will be praying everyday for you and you’ll be my reason for fasting each time as well. We’ve had many heart to hearts and I know you know how much I love you!! And so does the Lord!! ❤️❤️
Thanks for sharing with us!

Steven Milius said...

Love you and your family! My prayers for all of you will be added to the many other prayers!

Kara Morris Staples said...

Adding our most sincere prayers to the many others. You are so loved.πŸ™ ❤️

Anonymous said...

Your army of supporters is growing daily as re the prayers said on behalf of you and your precious family❤️

Anonymous said...

We love you Tara and you are a wonderful example of Christs love for us and all mankind. We will join your army once again that the Lord will hear our plea on your behalf.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you & hoping for an easy recovery ❣️πŸ™

Anonymous said...

Always Prayers for you and your family

Anonymous said...

You, your family, and your doctors are all in my prayers. Praying that you get a hopeful and encouraging report in January. You CAN do this!! Sending you love and hugs.πŸ™❤️

Kristy Bergsten said...

Tara that last comment was Kristy Bergsten.

Anonymous said...

Love you Tara!!!!!! You are amazing and the best Mom ever!! You are always looking at the good in everyone and every situation! We are here for you and praying!!

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your family ❤️

Trevor Cowan said...

Tara, you are awesome—Your family is awesome. You’ve got this. My family and I are praying and fasting for you and your family. <3

Anonymous said...

Praying for you!