Someone asked me yesterday how I was doing and of course I told them I was doing well and then proceeded to tell them that I only had 26 treatments left. They were so happy for me and congratulated me on my progress. I don't think they knew I only have 30 treatments! It has actually happened a few times I just find it funny everytime!
Well as you can see I am down to 25 treatments and yesterday we bought plane tickets so all you Schlappi's reading this...I'll see ya soon! I am cleared for the day off and more excited than ever to have a four day weekend off the mask. I am rather excited for this weekend because today I learned that the Barrow's is closed July 5th! That means I don't have treatment that day either! Oh happy days! So I have not thrown up since the other day and I am not getting too sick yet. Tired and grumpy...yes...but sick...not too bad. As for the smell of radiation..the lotion is working and helping take some of the smell away. I just try not to breathe when the machine starts going that seems to work the best and it gives my lungs excercise...yes I can multitask! I have found that it is really hard for me to walk up stairs. I have just lost all the muscles in my legs and arms. I can't really carry anything and Josh had to open my medicine again this morning. Good thing muscles grow back and I like excercising so it will not be like this forever. Today was blood, x rays, and radiation. I wish I could see the x rays. I still never have seen the plates in my head but I sure can feel them. I still haven't used the pad that we hauled into work so I could take naps.
Today I felt pretty good. My appitetite is fading really fast now and the thought of carrots makes me sick. Grapes on the other hand...I constantly crave! I am cold all the time which is weird cause I am always warm but I guess the chemo can do that to you. The medicine has done a lot of interesting things to me and hopefully I just get used to everything. I have a cool ID card for radiation so I don't even have to sign in now...I am a part of their special club! Well look at the time..it is 9 and I am dead tired. I can barely keep my eyes open. I have already read scriptures and cleaned the kitchen so it looks like teeth, prayers and then bed sweet bed time! I am so suprised how tired I get all the time but I guess it will really hit in two weeks. Come what may and love it. Hey a few weeks ago I am sure I was complaining because I could not sleep...I will take this over that anyday! I love my life and I am so grateful for this chance I have to become stronger. I know my body is getting weaker and weaker everyday but my spirit is growing stronger and hopefully this is preparing me for whatever is in store later. I know there will be a later and I know there will be a lot of fun and happiness in store. Each day is what we make it. Today I made perfect through all the nausea and headaches somehow it is ending perfect. I have a job, I have a family, I have an army, I have hope, I have a pretty attractive husband, I have prayers, I have faith, and I have the Lord taking care of me. I have a lot going for me and whatever happens with the trial will happen. Josh has me list happy things all the time and it really does make every day perfect. You know, I was thinking again last night... So what if my tumor does grow back? Well really I know what the worst thing is that can happen but if I stay healthy through treatment then can't they just remove the tumor again? I have been through it already and they take so many scans the tumor would be so smal. Surgery would be scary again but easier right? Just as long as my Dr. Berger is around I should be good! :) I have been thinking about writing him an email thanking him for what he did but how do you rightly write an email to someone thanking them for your life? Are there words that can possibly describe my feelings? Can I say thank you the right way? It is weird laying in bed and really realizing that you are a miracle. I mean the fact that we are all on earth is a miracle in itself but this is a little different. Anyway, enough of my little ponders.
Have a great night and Thursday is another sanity break (that means I get a treat and it is usually full of things on the "do NOT eat list") I have already planned what I am going to have! A warm brownie with ice cream on top and maybe some hot fudge sauce with a few bananas! I am pretty sure that breaks every rule! I am so looking forward to Thursday!
My life is beautiful
Make yours too
There are so many people suffering. We have no idea who is in pain so try and lift everyone.
Tara Lynn Bodrero
(why can my family not say my new last name?? Looks like we will have to practice this summer!)
Love ya all