Saturday, July 10, 2010

Brave Breaks

So yesterday I took a little brave break with the whole hair falling out thing. Yesterday morning it was just falling out. Last night it started falling out even more but I learned it was only on the right side. I have a feeling this is going to be a very funky haircut. Yesterday Lori and I (okay so mainly Lori) cut Josh's hair and all I could think was how Josh and I could very well be switching places in the near future. If I have to shave my head I want Josh to do it. I know that he will do it and then pick me up, wipe my tears, tell me I am beautiful, and then hold me until I feel all better. That's the kind of guy Josh is. Really he is the perfect man. Whenever I am sad I know I can go to him and he will somehow make everything all better. I jokingly call him Dr. Josh but really he heals my emotional wounds and fears all the time.

Well I wrote that two days ago and today I am doing better with the hair situation. Maybe because I have stuck it in a bun and don't want to touch it. I want to have hair for church tomorrow so I am not touching my hair until then. I am still very nervous about my talk but we have blocked out a good few hours to prepare so all should be well. We moved into the Gulbrandson's house yesterday and it was a big project. Of course I still need to move all my personal stuff in but we have the kitchen just about done which is the first thing a girl wants done anyways. The closet of course is soon to follow! We had quite a team working yesterday to get this place looking like our own home. It feels nice to be in a place we can finally call home for a while. Josh hooked the whole office up so we have internet and everything. Today is going to be a good day I just know it. My head itches like crazy but I just go scratch Josh's head or I scratch somewhere else on my body so I don't touch my hair. I guess the more you touch it the faster it will fall out. I am hoping that I don't take my pony tail out and have the whole thing just fall out. Some people say that when their hair was ready to fall out it was ready and the wind took it all away. It is kinda crazy how fast things can happen and we have known for weeks that it would. It has been about an hour since I took my chemo so I can go and make breakfast now! Yay! I am always so hungry in the mornings but Josh is always really nice and when we are home he waits for me to eat he is pretty hungry too! Pancakes sounds good to me! Happy Saturday! I love can just get so much done...or nothing at all! Today has been productive so far but the option of nothing is quite inviting sometimes. Well I can afford to do nothing because I don't have school or a family. Those of you who do never have the option. Yesterday I was thinking how lucky I am to not have a family yet. The timing of this is amazing. I do not know how people could take care of themselves and a family. I want a family but it is really good that I don't have one yet. I want to give them all my attention and right now I have to give my brain and Joshua and being positive all my attention. I love this world! I wish it rains soon! I could smell it yesterday...mmm

Almost half way done with radiation!

Tara Bodrero


Julianna Farnsworth said...

i love you tara. yes it is good that you dont have a family yet but when you have one it is going to be amazing. i love you! i hope you are doing alright i want to stop by one of these days and come and see you and talk to you it has been forever! love you! hang in there! your tough! your going to be beautiful without hair! hey my moms grew back curly! :) your going to rock the beanies! :)

Heidi said...

Good luck on the talk tomorrow! I'm sure you'll do fine :-)

I'm glad you have somewhere (somewhat) permanent to call home. That will be nice for you guys.

I'm so glad you have Josh to help you through all this. Keep each other smiling, huh?

Wendy said...

You have such a pretty face that maybe you'll look like one of those models who's super edgy and cuts all their hair off on purpose. :) Plus think of all then fun you can have trying out new hairstyles while it grows back! Hang in there! :)

elizabeth cullimore said...

Tara, I just wanted to say that you did such a great job on your talk today. I was so touched. You have a great gift of speaking, it was perfect. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your feelings, and your testimony with us. You are amazing.