Wednesday, October 6, 2010

It's been too long...

Yes I know it has been a really long time. I went into hiding but I think I am ready to come out. I have not been feeling well lately and it is just hard for me to write when I feel so blue and odd. But I am back, no matter how I feel, I need this blog to keep me going so I promise to be a better blogger...(even if it is just for me). I am still happy and fine, I just feel different. I feel like something is wrong and I don't know what it is...maybe it is that I am not expressing my feelings anymore as I used to on this blog. This is the picture that we took with Elder Cook after the blessing. We were all so happy, Nate just doesn't show his happiness well! I did something I should not have done yesterday. Yesterday my friend wanted to know the name and type of my tumor and I didn't know how to spell it so I goggled it. My curiosity got the best of me and I did more than just goggle the spelling. I found out what the internet had to say about my tumor. I got way to interested and then typed in. "worst brain cancer" I really wasn't surprised when I found that my tumor/cancer is classified as the worst. Yep it takes the number one spot for primary brain tumors. I knew that, I have been told and I have also been told that the statistics are not in my favor but it is another thing to read it. I had previously just chosen not to Google it or get interested and that is how I will now lead my life. Reading that few survive longer than three years and longer than five years is a miracle can be hard to read. The best part about this whole thing is that as soon as I read that more than five years surviving was a miracle I remembered that I was already a miracle and that the Lord could perform another and would if we put our faith in him. So what if most don't live more than three years...we have already learned that I am not like most people and that I am special. This I still believe strongly. I will live as long as God wants me to and I tell myself over and over that God will take me when he needs me and obviously he does not need me how right now so he must need me somewhere else. That somewhere is here so I better do something good with what I have. The knowledge of the gospel gives me so much happiness and peace. People have often asked me how I do it. They ask me how I can keep a smile through these hard times and how I can stay the way I am. For me, the answer is simple. I know who I am, where I came from, and most importantly, where I am going. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and that he wants me to be happy. He has already blessed me so much and I know that he will never leave me comfortless. I can do what I do because of my Heavenly Father. In case you are reading this and are unware, I am a LDS, a Mormon, whatever. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I know that my faith in God and my religion has and will continue to help me. If any of you out there would like to know more about what has helped shape and mold me to become the me I am today I will attach a link at the bottom of this post. For all of those others out there who are not a member of my faith please keep praying. I know that faith can bring miracles and a miracle we need.

Christ makes everything possible and easier. If we come to him, he will never let us down. He knows the plan and we need to trust that he is in control.

I want to do good with my time on this earth. I know that I may not live in the same state and my hours are a little crazy but if anyone ever needs anything that I can help them with, please let me know. I am happiest when I am serving because it makes it easier to forget my own problems. Please let me know if I can help, you have all served me so much.

Here's the link I promise that great happiness and joy can be found on this website. mormon.org and lds.org
If you ever have questions or want to know more, just let me know and I can find answers.

I am glad to be back and thankful for everyone who is still following my blog. It means the world to me.

Tara Bodrero

15 comments:

Emily Sue said...

that just made me cry. you are absolutely SPECIAL. you're faith is unreal and i am proud to call you a friend. i love you and i am praying for you! love you!
emily

Anonymous said...

Wow, Tara. Just wow.
Fran K

Kimber said...

Wow! You are so amazing and such an example to all of us! Prayers are coming your way from New York!!

Julianna Farnsworth said...

tara you are such an amazing girl! such a different person than i have ever known! always good though! keep your head up! i am sure that was not easy to read and lots happens when that is in your head! God loves you! He is so aware of you! love you! i need to give you a headband! which one did you decide on!

nicole said...

i love mormon. org's profile.you are so strong and AMAZING! love you tara!

Natalie said...

Oh goodness gracious, you always put the biggest smile on my face. Usually accompanied by wet eyes a a sure-flow of tears. You are so beautiful, I can't get over it. I covet it - I really do. Your faith, your strength, your courage and bravery. You are not normal. You are completely abnormal. You are TOO special, TOO valiant, and TOO strong for what most of us have to face to learn those lessons. Yet, despite our trials of less intensity, we still don't learn or grow like you do. You are a blessing, Miss Tara. Your testimony is shaping the testimony of those who know you. I love you.

Huish Family said...

Beautiful post, Tara. You have a great attitude and perspective. Indeed, you will not return home to our Father in Heaven until your mission here is complete... statistics and prognosis have nothing on God's will. Hope you feel better soon. We are always here for you and your sweet family.
Love, the Huish's

The Hiatt Family said...

Hi Tara, this is Laci Hiatt's Mom, Kathi. I just read your beautiful post and it touched my heart so deeply. You are so loved even by people you haven't even met yet...like our family! And remember you have already had one BIG miracle and if it is the Lord's will He will keep sending them to both you and Laci. When Laci first had her tumor I was driving to LA for her radiation and I felt this strong impression..."A brain tumor is a piece of cake for the Lord to remove" I thought..how strange I would have that impression when they told us their was no cure. But then her tumor was gone and now yours! You both are such miracles!!! Nothing is too hard for the Lord.

The Lord is blessing you now and I pray He will continue to pour blessings upon you. You have blessed so many lives already though your faith and love of the Lord. If you are ever in southern California I would love to get you and Laci together...you would have much to chat about and even your husbands would have a common bond. So let us know if you are ever here visiting...we would LOVE to meet you. Until then...take care and know we are sending lots of Love and prayers your way...Kathi Hiatt and Family

Tiffany said...

God is a God of miracles, you have an amazing perspective! I love reading your thoughts happy, sad, random, and whatever else!

Lynette said...

I'm so glad you are posting again. I read every day and when I see a post, it makes me so happy. You make me remember how blessed I am; how we should love others and how we should see the good in everyday.
You see the bright spots clearly everyday, even when it would be easy to focus on the gloom. You make me happy. Keep posting, so many people are blessed because of this blog...especially me! Love you and Josh!

Amanda said...

You are such an inspiration to me. To try harder, to do better, to find joy in the small stuff. I follow you and I pray for you. You are such a great example and I am so glad I found your blog. Glad you are back.

Anonymous said...

Tara, I am praying for you as always. What a wonderful post!

Michelle

Aunt Jean said...

Yes, You ARE special and the miracle for us all. You are one of the few that beats this "worst"! Cancer free and clear for years for come- lots of love, Tara!!

Heidi said...

Of course we are all still here and praying for you!!

Thank you for posting-- this was a wonderful lift to my morning!!! (Just a little bit of service you did for a cousin who's currently on the other end of the country :-)

Lyndi said...

Hi Tara,
This is Lyndi, Robin Juvan's daughter. I am teaching the beehives in my ward a lesson on optimism. You are the person I think of... you are the person a daughter of Heavenly Father can learn from and strive to be like. So today, as I tell my eight beehives about you, about your example of optimism, your testimony, your faith and trust in the Lord, I pray that the spirit will testify to us the blessings and power of optimism. Thank you for blessing and serving us, because that's what you are doing.