It's been too long...

Yes I know it has been a really long time. I went into hiding but I think I am ready to come out. I have not been feeling well lately and it is just hard for me to write when I feel so blue and odd. But I am back, no matter how I feel, I need this blog to keep me going so I promise to be a better blogger...(even if it is just for me). I am still happy and fine, I just feel different. I feel like something is wrong and I don't know what it is...maybe it is that I am not expressing my feelings anymore as I used to on this blog. This is the picture that we took with Elder Cook after the blessing. We were all so happy, Nate just doesn't show his happiness well! I did something I should not have done yesterday. Yesterday my friend wanted to know the name and type of my tumor and I didn't know how to spell it so I goggled it. My curiosity got the best of me and I did more than just goggle the spelling. I found out what the internet had to say about my tumor. I got way to interested and then typed in. "worst brain cancer" I really wasn't surprised when I found that my tumor/cancer is classified as the worst. Yep it takes the number one spot for primary brain tumors. I knew that, I have been told and I have also been told that the statistics are not in my favor but it is another thing to read it. I had previously just chosen not to Google it or get interested and that is how I will now lead my life. Reading that few survive longer than three years and longer than five years is a miracle can be hard to read. The best part about this whole thing is that as soon as I read that more than five years surviving was a miracle I remembered that I was already a miracle and that the Lord could perform another and would if we put our faith in him. So what if most don't live more than three years...we have already learned that I am not like most people and that I am special. This I still believe strongly. I will live as long as God wants me to and I tell myself over and over that God will take me when he needs me and obviously he does not need me how right now so he must need me somewhere else. That somewhere is here so I better do something good with what I have. The knowledge of the gospel gives me so much happiness and peace. People have often asked me how I do it. They ask me how I can keep a smile through these hard times and how I can stay the way I am. For me, the answer is simple. I know who I am, where I came from, and most importantly, where I am going. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and that he wants me to be happy. He has already blessed me so much and I know that he will never leave me comfortless. I can do what I do because of my Heavenly Father. In case you are reading this and are unware, I am a LDS, a Mormon, whatever. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I know that my faith in God and my religion has and will continue to help me. If any of you out there would like to know more about what has helped shape and mold me to become the me I am today I will attach a link at the bottom of this post. For all of those others out there who are not a member of my faith please keep praying. I know that faith can bring miracles and a miracle we need.

Christ makes everything possible and easier. If we come to him, he will never let us down. He knows the plan and we need to trust that he is in control.

I want to do good with my time on this earth. I know that I may not live in the same state and my hours are a little crazy but if anyone ever needs anything that I can help them with, please let me know. I am happiest when I am serving because it makes it easier to forget my own problems. Please let me know if I can help, you have all served me so much.

Here's the link I promise that great happiness and joy can be found on this website. mormon.org and lds.org
If you ever have questions or want to know more, just let me know and I can find answers.

I am glad to be back and thankful for everyone who is still following my blog. It means the world to me.

Tara Bodrero