Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Round 3

This is Becky.  I keep waiting for Tara to post; but she's becoming a busy girl; so I'll do it this time.  Maybe she's not posting because she's kindof felt yucky since Saturday.  We did have 2 pretty good weeks in a row; so to start feeling yucky again when she's not even taking Temodar is weird.  Maybe these drugs have delayed effects.  She's always got some possible Avastin (clinical trial) in her; but we just don't know why she doesn't feel good.  It is possible she just has a touch of the flu bug that has been going around.  It's a weird place to be in - if Tara ever feels sick; you blame it on the drugs - but we must consider people can just get sick without chemo in their lives.  She was itchy today and I spoke with Terri and Terri said that is one of the side effects of Avastin.  So, possibly Tara is on the Avastin; but we just won't know.  It's so strange to hope Tara does well enough with the Temodar so the docs can give her MORE milligrams of Temodar which will likely make her more sick; but I want the higher milligrams on the other hand because I want to fight this as hard as we can.  It's not really a great spot to be in; hoping your daughter can have stronger meds; but hating it at the same time.  Definitely a Catch 22.  Tara doesn't feel horrible and she still goes to work and functions; but she's just kindof not herself.  BUT, for about 2 weeks she felt really good!  So, we will hope for that again this coming month.  We are just grateful that radiation is over - at least she's not tired and sick both!  That radiation was really tough.

So, we start Round 3 tomorrow.  Dr. Shapiro will most likely increase the dosage of Temodar to somewhere in the 300 milligram range.  If Tara does okay this month; she will continue on that dosage for the rest of the 11 months.

I have heard from some friend in the Northpoint Ward that every single prayer that is said for any reason at all includes Tara in the prayer - not just a prayer of comfort or peace, but a miracle of healing is prayed for.  Thanks to new Bishop Kindt and his ward which is full of people who don't even know Tara.  This will continue through this weekend.  Thank you all so much and all you other people who still keep praying and praying.  I know I feel your prayers, and I'm sure Tara would say the same thing.  I am so touched by so many.

Tara is now the choir director for the Estate Groves Ward and I'm the choir pianist.  I hope she has fun bossing me around!  I guess it's payback time for all the hours in her life I told her "what to do" as she practiced the piano.  Seriously, it will be a great experience for her - I know (oops italic again) the Estate Groves Ward choir members will love Tara.  She is very musically talented and this will be fun. 

On a positive note, Tara and I have enjoyed exploring some new Thai restaurants.  I have decided that at my "older" age (ha ha) I can now spoil my kids whenever I feel like it.  After years of being practical, it's okay to let loose a little.  So, after clinical trial days or doctor days, Tara and I will try to find a Thai restaurant and Tara LOVES it!  It's pretty healthy and we always order brown rice. I also enjoy spoiling Brigham.  Ryan wasn't exactly thrilled with me when I bought Brigham treats on two different occasions at a game and a play!  That's a grandma's privilege.  He remembered how I "never" did it for him growing up and now Brig will "want" treats all the time.  No worries, I'm just the grandma and the parents have to deal with those other issues.

Cherish your days - grab those moments when you can!  We WILL get through this - only 5 days a month, 5 days a month (we keep telling ourselves that).  

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