Yesterday Tara and I had an absolutely wonderful day. Why was it wonderful?? Tara acted and felt like her "old self" - the one I used to know more than a year ago before all this started. She acted and felt like her old self until about 4:00 at Nate's game when her feet started hurting like crazy; and then I remembered yet again that this is the daughter who has suffered through so much medication this year. Her body has been through so much!
Many of you have been wondering how I am doing - you are so kind for your concern.... here's how I am.... the 2 months (almost) that Tara was recovering from her 2 surgeries were..... moments or hours of great times when Tara had energy, and other moments where she just had to rest and recover and get through the pain. So, throughout those times starting the 2nd week of February until last week when Tara finally returned to work, I loved having my daughter around so much, but she wasn't really herself. She just didn't feel good, so I guess that's why she wasn't at work! Anyway, yesterday Tara didn't go to work; but it wasn't because she didn't feel good - which is the usual reason - it was because she needed to MOVE and organize. So, in response to your query, I am doing ok - but it's been stressful since February I have to admit; although I keep reminding myself when I get blue that there was NO TUMOR in her head in February, which lifts my spirits.
Last year when she got married she didn't have time to "go through her stuff" before moving in with Josh - so she ended up with years of accumulation from her bedroom that never got sorted! Since the Gulbrandsen's had so much room at their home, I just kept giving her boxes and boxes throughout the year because I didn't want them here in the bedroom anymore; so it was piling up. Tara went through all her stuff in the last week and is almost ready to move to the Curtis home (which, by the way, she is very excited about doing!!)
What was great about yesterday is that Tara had energy all day and she was happy and just BOOKING. It was sad and a reality check again when her feet started hurting. We will pursue homeopathic routes for her feet - Dr. Shapiro just shrugged his shoulders and said "I'm not a foot doctor" when Tara told him about her feet. I personally think her feet trouble has something to do with either vancomyacin or the Temodar. My sister, Jean, has a mineral foot bath and Tara tried it yesterday. It was amazing how much brown toxins came out of Tara's feet! Jean gave Tara the key to her house and she'll be doing foot baths weekly! Hopefully that will help. So, Friday we have homeopathic appointments set up and we'll try that to offset the medical side effects Tara experiences. I have her taking probiotics and slippery elm for her stomach and it seems to be helping. Now we're trying blood root and mineral baths for starters on the feet.... chiropractor on Friday. The podiatrist won't see her until she's done with chemo because what they do might interfere - so thankfully Tara found her orthotics and she'll just try to wear better shoes until they will see her.
As I looked at Tara yesterday, I had those thoughts that pass through my brain often, "I just want to be able to look into her brown eyes and see that smile forever!" I just love her so much it hurts sometimes. I have faith that I really can look at that face forever...and have more days like yesterday..... I love those moments that I can steal with all my family.... maybe I appreciate them more now after what we've been through! Last night I stole a hug from Brigham - there is nothing like hearing "Grandma!" from across the room and then feeling little arms around my neck - it just doesn't get better than that! Ryan & Steph are staying with some friends of ours while the parents are out of town; and I just had to stop by and see them for a few minutes....