Here she goes again - #5

Becky here....

Unbelievable but true, Tara goes in the ER again in the morning for surgery. She just started to feel better!! AAUUUGGHH! We had our regular Tuesdsay date with Dr. Smith; he saw Tara's persistent scab on her head - it falls off, sticky stuff comes out of her head again, and it is created again, and the cycle keeps repeating itself. Dr. Smith saw a small hole again and didn't like it. He has been trying to avoid a large surgery to repair the head - usually the skin will heal and grow together; but Tara's skin has been so hammered with radiation, medicine, and surgeries, that it just can't heal in that spot like it should. So, he's calling in the plastic surgeon this time and Tara will get skin stretched somehow around her skull to cover the bad spot and get it to heal. He will also "drill" into her bone "a little" which I don't much like the sound of, either. Those words equate to my mother's mind, PAIN. On the bright side, we hope and pray this is a lasting fix to the annoying leakage of Tara's head. I also hope and pray she doesn't have to resume any of those dreaded antibiotics again. He doesn't seem to think there's infection, just skin healing issues, so that's a good thing. But, he did say, the bone is probably "irritated" so I'm not sure what that will entail. I am thinking she might have a "funky haircut" again and her hair was just starting to look so cute; but once again, positive Tara says that "hair doesn't matter."

So, as I stared across the little exam room into my daughter's beautiful, brave, brown eyes, and looked at her cute, dark brown, short hair and perfect face, I just lost it again - took my brave break. Thankfully, Dr. Smith was out calling his plastic surgeon friend. Tara let me cry in her arms and smiled at me and told me it was okay to cry. She again reassured me. She also said something pretty insightful - she said this was easier than having a child go through spiritual pain again and again... which is likely very true.

So, off we go to the ER again in the morning. I dislike being a regular there; but that's the best way for us to get surgery the day we want it. We'll try to sneak Rachel in; as well as Josh and myself - hopefully the Nazi nurse is not on duty - she's usually on at night; so we should be good to go. Scott is away on business, and this is killing him not to be here; but Tara reassured him he should stay and she'll be fine. Dr. Smith said the pain shouldn't be too bad; so I'm banking on that - I think it won't be as bad as the tubes in February, but not as good as the one in April - I think this one will rate somewhere in the middle of the spectrum on the pain scale. So, it's party in the ER tomorrow. I'll try to update you all after the procedure - I'm sure it will be fine...

As always, thanks for your love and prayers....we still need them!