Thursday, June 23, 2011

A Day off with more to do than sit on the couch!!

Today I am not going to work! Great right?? Just wait...the greatest part about the day off is that today I am not going to sit on the couch all day!!!! I am going to kiss that silly couch goodbye and make it today without a nap. Today I feel better. Today all I want to do is run through sprinklers and dance without any pain or hesitation. I hesitate so much. I never used to be careful about getting into the car. I could slam my head and it would not matter...now everything I do is done after the thought of what it could do to my head. I want to do a cartwheel and not worry about how my head will feel after. I know that day will come. It is feeling closer every day. I am closer to the old Tara. The more I think about wanting to be the old Tara though, the more okay I am with the new Tara. Ya, the new Tara is not physically fit anymore and can't run up flights of stairs but the new Tara is okay too. I am starting to learn to love the new Tara.

Today I hope to look at a few cars with my new foster brother Jerod...I need to have a whole post about him later... and maybe play with my boy brig who is growing up way too fast. Today maybe I could make some homemade bread, brownies, cookies, etc! :) Laundry, dishes...all this seems to excite me! Anything but stay on that couch! Today I want to be normal! Today more than ever this month I feel like I can be normal. So here's to normal, to running and playing, laughing and falling, learning and tons of hugs! Today is going to be a great day!

Momma,

You can't take this away. God could not take it away from Christ. It was something he had to endure. I could not do this without you. We are going to look back at all we have learned from this and hopefully learn to be grateful. I can't take the heartache it causes you away either. All we can continue to do is continue to help bear one anothers burdens. I can stop being such a stubborn piece of work but sometimes it makes me smile to see how worked up you get about silly things...wrong I know but I giggle inside. I just have to tease you...part of me being the best daughter I can be. I love you moms...I always will. I don't mind the pain so don't feel bad. I don't mind it as long as I have you, josh, my family, friends, and supporters there to help me. I can do anything with God and love. It hurts less because of love. You can't take this away but I can promise you that you are helping in immeasurable ways. I love life. I love love. I love you. I love.

Tara

3 comments:

Julianna Farnsworth said...

you are the sweetest! im so grateful to know you! im glad you are feeling better!!

Jeni Bell said...

Tara you bring tears to my eyes ~ you are the bravest!!!! Lots of love and prayers from SA.

Mandy&Dave said...

Tara, this is so sweet, thanks for sharing. I can't wait for the day when you get your cartwheels and carefree, painfree fun. You deserve it more than anybody. I hope that day comes soon for you. Thanks for sharing your amazing faith and positive attitude. This letter to your mother is beautiful. I can tell from her posts that you are also an amazing strength to her. I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. I hope you soon get more days that feel "normal." Thinking of you and praying for you.

Love,

Mandy Miller Clive