One year ago I had no idea...
What glioblastoma is...now I know there is a cool nickname for it too!!! GBM
What radiation is
That not all chemotherapies killed your hair
What acid reflex is
How fast word gets around a loving community
What sugar/white flour does to your body
That I could be this tired
How many years brain surgeons go to school
How quickly my life could change
How grateful I am for the gospel and the essential role it plays in my life
The fastest way to drop ten pounds is have brain surgery
Flying in planes may seem crazy right after a surgery but it happens all the time
Nurses have 12 hour shifts
Having a seizure gets you right into the ER while a hole in your head the size of your index finger gets you an hour wait.
How long my hair was
How much Josh loved me
I actually looked okay in hats/bald/balding/every other odd state my hair has been and currently is in.
Dr. Shapiro takes time to warm up to you
What “brain games” are
It is possible to be freezing cold in the middle of an AZ summer
What a port is and how amazing they are
That I had that much blood in me
Where Sonora Quests were all over the valley
My body could possibly itch this much
I am allergic to keppra and another random antibiotic
If you rub your big toe...it helps with your headaches
You can’t take Advil while on chemo
What a medical “trial” is
Your hair growing and fingernails is a sign that your body is doing okay
How wonderful the words “no growth” sound
How badly I want future children
How many times we would move
I would marry my Joshua
How amazing my Father in Heaven is
Okay I really could go on and on but I am getting bored so let me just say that I have practically been through nursing school because I ask the nurses so many questions and may have possibly completed a whole semester of residency if you count all the hours I have spent with doctors. I know all the good eating places by St. Joes and could maybe get there with my eyes closed. I have had more tender mercies of the Lord and have felt him near more this year than any other year of my life. I know that my Heavenly Father Loves me and will never leave my comfortless. I have been blessed endlessly and I am so grateful for everything.
I may not have been able to go to school for the past year but I have learned more I think in this year of experience than I could have ever learned in two semesters of school.
Most people live an average of 12 months with a GBM. AVERAGE!!!! People....I am just over 12 months and I am thinking that I am not average! There is no way this silly little tumor thing is going to get in the way of my life.
Everyday I think about what I did the year before...in just a few days I will have surgery and then we will have the results that seriously shook us all. I will try not to dwell on it too much and have it consume my life and every thought but it is hard. Kicking cancers trash has become part of who I am...
I am a daughter of God who is kicking cancers trash!!!