Holding our Breath

Becky here...

I noticed Tara hasn't posted in a long time; so I'm going to update you all.  I, for one, am holding my breath.  Can I really say that Tara has felt good for 2 weeks in a row?  I don't think that has happened for over 18 months, truly.  It's scary to say she's feeling better; because in the past when we say that, something happens!!  Here are signs to me that Tara is doing better:

I don't see her as much (I quite honestly, miss her; but am SO glad she is able to live her life!)  In other words, we aren't at doctor's office constantly, she isn't here in Nate's dark room trying to make her head stop spinning or hurting or just feeling lousy in general, and she's at work instead of hanging out with me:(

She had her biggest 2 week paycheck since May of 2010.  That means she showed up at work on a regular basis.

She rode bikes with Josh 3 miles to his parent's house and back!  That's a total of 6 miles!

She smiles more

She doesn't bust into tears while trying to play the piano as often.  She has struggled with the use of her left arm - we're not sure why - somewhere in the midst of the 5 subsequent surgeries, chemo, and radiation, some cognitive traits are a little off.  One of them is the brain telling her left arm what to do.  That makes piano difficult.  She said she has to "look" at her hand to tell it what to do instead of just sending the message from the brain down there.  Weird.  Dr. Shapiro has no reasons for this - just "oh, maybe chemo, surgeries, radiation...  After the first initial tumor removal in May 2010; everything about Tara still worked properly.  Her dad gave her a pep talk and reminded Tara that some people have to learn to walk and talk again; all she has to do is work her left hand and re-learn some piano again (and work on some math skills and reading out loud).  As she was practicing last week, she got excited (for all you musical readers out there) that her hand could "feel" what the interval from an octave to a fifth was again.  That's progress!  So, when I'm tempted to whine (which I do much more than Tara does) we have to remember that Tara can work at these things and regain abilities back again.

She has some friends to have date nights with and loves it!  Some sweet new friends of hers in the new ward had a little celebration on her last chemo pill night.  They had pizza together and played games.  She felt rotten that day (due to the chemo) but rallied and wasn't going to miss this party from her friends.  It really helped (I think) distract her from her sickness.  She even took her pills with her so she could take them there and stay longer to play games!

She told Scott, "yes, please" when he asked her if she was ready for a ride to work this morning instead of a different sort of text resembling "yes" "I don't feel good" "can't, I have doctors".

So, those are my signs.  I'm so glad she's happy.  I told her that Josh is probably enjoying having a wife who isn't sick every day. I don't really know how her legs are... she doesn't complain.

We did have a struggle with seizure meds this past month. She's starting a new med which will replace the med which makes her lose her appetite.  So, she was "overmedicated" for awhile and she was acting somewhat drunk again with some loss of function in her arm, balance, and thinking.  Thankfully, she seems to be getting used to the medication.  I dream of the day when she's only on one seizure med.   I pray the seizures stay away so the meds can be regulated.  Her last seizure was New Year's Day; but she had a small one last month which she was able to control without meds.  (Prayer and holding her arm down and breathing deeply sent it away!)  Our prayers also include the constant prayer that the tumor be rebuked and STAY AWAY.  Next MRI is March 7th; and we will continue these scans every 2 months.

Now, we have a wedding at this house in 6 days!!! If you want to see cute pictures of Rachel and Nate; check out her blog at rachelschlappi.blogspot.com. Yes, we will have 2 Nates in the Schlappi family.  Rachel calls her brother, Nate, "little Nate" now which I'm not to sure he likes too well:)  Happiness is in this home.  Ryan, Stephanie, and Brig have been gone since the first of January; but Steph & Brig come back in a few days to help light life up around here!  I have missed that grandson of mine. (and his parents)  Ryan & Travis fly in for the wedding; as well as many other family members.  It will be PARTY TIME and I am so glad we paid a decorator and a food person; so I can enjoy all the people and events around here!  All is done except placing pictures in frames, cleaning the house, stringing extension cords to lights, and touching up the yard one more time.  I even painted the deck doors and walls that Casey destroyed. (dog)

Another really happy thing is happening around here - Jerod's mission papers are going to be submitted the day of Rachel's wedding!  Jerod is an amazing example of strength for all of us.  He's had some challenges lately; but his mission papers are going in on schedule. Go, Jerod!!!  He has been a blessing in our home as well. We will miss him when he leaves in June.

So, we're getting through our days and most definitely counting our blessings.   I pray every single day for Tara's life and every single day am grateful she is here with us.  I look at life so differently now.  I can't project into the future; I have to take each day by itself and enjoy it.  I can project to SATURDAY, however!

Love you all!

Becky